Exodus 4

Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak. But he said, "Oh, my Lord, please send someone else."

Exodus 4:12-13

The dialogue between God and Moses goes back and forth between Moses feeling inadequate for the calling that God has given him and the Lord encouraging him, saying it is not you, but I who will provide these gifts. I think oftentimes when we feel called to go somewhere, we can get in the way of the calling by thinking oh no, that's not me, or I couldn't do that, or I don't really know about that, or I've never done that before. We have a whole list of different excuses that show our inadequacy for the place that God is calling us to. But it is okay for us to be inadequate, because God is more than capable of fulfilling the role of the calling. We are just helping by being the hands and the feet of His work here on earth.

He shall speak for you to the people, and he shall be your mouth, and you shall be as God to him.

Exodus 4:16

God says to Moses that his brother Aaron will help by speaking and will be his mouth, but that Moses has to bring what God has told him, the words and the acts of the miracles that God has gifted him, and bring those to Aaron and do it with him. Part of the calling that we feel inadequate for is often to reach other people, to be a witness, and to share knowledge that God wants us to share. He trusts us with His wisdom, not our own, and He is trusting us to take action and to do what He says, whether or not we think we are capable. The important part is that we will, and that He trusts us to listen and follow what He commands. In the same way that He listens to each and every one of our prayers, we should listen when He puts the Holy Spirit on our heart and do what God calls us to do.

I think in my life, I often think I know what is best, and I can get caught going too far down that road to a point where it is not helpful. Even just recently, I have been struggling a little bit with hormone balance, and it has been showing up in a lot of different physical ways such as headaches, not sleeping well, and having a short amount of patience. I let myself go down this road for a while without really connecting all the dots and listening to the signs of the design of the body that God put me in, and it kind of came down to a breaking point where I had to listen and recognize this is not the path that God is calling me down. And so when it comes to something bigger, such as Him wrestling something on my heart to say something to someone, or Him resting something on my heart to go in a new direction in life, whether that be work or something else along those lines, I must be willing to listen and to be humble enough to know that I don't know what is best. I don't know the path, I don't know the road, and so each day I think I need to live a little bit more childlike and just check in and see where God is calling me and honestly what I am denying. This will be a practice that I believe may be hard, but I am encouraged reading Exodus so far and learning about the way that Moses was obedient, even if it was begrudgingly.